Manifestation of Fear

8th December 2019

Last week, I saw a nervous dog. The owner had mentioned that he was nervous before the consultation so we were prepared. When the dog first saw me at the waiting area, he started barking and was lunging towards me. In the consultation room, I chatted with his owner, ignoring him. He approached me, sniffing extremely tentatively. I offered him treats which he took it readily. I seemed to be making progress. His tail was wagging but still extremely cautious. When I finished treating him (6 pieces in all), he waited for 2 seconds and decided that I was a not friendly and started barking and lunging again.

I knew he was not angry at me (as he barely knew me!) and yet, he displayed such aggression. I knew it came from nervousness and fear translating to seemingly anger. How often in life do we exhibit anger and irritation that had arisen from fear?

When I was a child, I remember my mother telling me off for not letting her know where I was. At that time, I thought she was angry at me but now I realised that it was due to fear of any mishap happening to me.

When I look back at various episodes in my life where I experienced anger or when someone had been angry at me, I can almost trace it back to the initial emotion of fear (possibly not every single episode but certainly 95% of them). There is the fear of losing a loved one, fear of losing one’s identity, fear of losing face, fear of losing power, fear of inadequacy, fear of failure, fear of the future, fear of the past repeating itself and many more others.

It can be very misleading to others when the anger is displayed as they may not understand or have the ability to comprehend that the anger has arisen from fear, not because one if truly angry with them. Many conflicts have arisen from fear. Wars have been started because of fear.

Fear is truly the mind killer. Different people manifest fear differently. Some show aggression, some show withdrawal, some talk excessively, some show physical signs like biting nails, some become overfriendly and some put on a front.

It is important to recognize these manifestations as it can help you understand that the individual is actually fearful and addressing the fear may increase the chance of a positive outcome. It is not easy to accept that the individual is not really angry at you. The circumstances and situation may be much more complicated than that. It could stem from bad past experiences, low self esteem and fear of various issues.

On the other hand, if we fail to understand the basis of the behaviour and purely take it at face value, we may react thinking it is personal. This may escalate the situation and increase the chance of a negative outcome. The approach is extremely similar whether it is a dog or a person showing signs of aggression due to fear.

Fear causes irrational actions. Are we able to curb our fears or at least recognize when we are fearful and be more mindful in our actions? Are we able to understand that it is not the dog’s intention to attack though it may appear that way but it is actually showing its defence?

‘Fear is the mind killer’ – Leto in ‘Children of Dune’

Back to Blog