Fear

4th January 2020

Recently at Amity, we had just finished our Fear Free Accreditation. Fear Fee is a concept where Fear, Anxiety and Stress (FAS) in pets can be reduced or eliminated. It is using a combination of understanding, complementary remedies, pharmacological drugs, techniques and actions. I will be slowly introducing that concept via YouTube and Facebook so everyone can benefit from it. We are really excited to be rolling this out. (Make sure you subscribe to our YouTube if you have not done so!)

However, that is not what I am musing today. During the course of the study for this accreditation, the concept of fear is revisited. Fear can cause an animal so much distress that it is not able to exhibit its normal behaviour and at times, even elicit an abnormal response. I am reminded by the fear that we possess in us.

A baby is born with two fears: loud noises and falling. Almost all other fears are learned. We can think about our own fears. The times when we felt we should have done something but something held us back, was it rationale or was it fear? Common fears include making the wrong decision, making the right decision, doing something for the first time, looking silly, being laughed at, losing credibility, failing, succeeding, getting it wrong, losing someone and many more.

Fear is the ultimate mind killer. When we fear, it cripples our ability to exercise our mental faculties to the maximum. We hold back. Some fears are rationale and protective, like not putting your hand in the fire in fear that it would get burnt or not wanting to gamble in fear of losing all your money. One could say that that could be making a calculated decision based on past experiences or ‘common sense’. I am referring more to the fear of making the leap perhaps into a new love, a new career, a new skill or simply just expanding our thoughts, our goals, redefining what we want to live our life for, moving on from a death of a close one. I am referring to the fear that stops us being more than we presently are.

What if we had no fear? Imagine what we could accomplish and achieve in our lives. Many have thought and advise, “Don’t dream too big. You may not achieve it and you don’t want to be a failure and laugh at, would you?” or (I love this one!) “Be realistic. Be practical. Who do you think you are? Dream of and plan for something more achievable.” The problem is that you can usually achieve it!

Fear is simply False Expectations Appearing Real. It is all in our mind. At this point, let’s remind ourselves that being courageous is not the absence of fear. Showing courage is doing what needs to be DESPITE the fear experience because it is the right thing to do. It is saying, “I feel the fear but I do it anyway!”

A survey conducted in a hospice documented the biggest regrets of people in the end-of-life. Living their dream and taking more risks ranked in the top five regrets (together with spending more time with loved ones, being more loving to their family and being a better spouse, parent and child). They mentioned that it was fear that held them back from living their dream and not taking enough risks. It seems insane not to learn from these great teachers who have lived their lives.

Let’s embrace our inner souls. Let’s remember that we were only borne with two fears (and to be fair, many have conquered those fears anyway!) and the rest are learnt. Let’s be brave and courageous to live the life we have. The Spanish say, “A life lived in fear is a life half lived.” Let’s live our lives to the fullest so we may look back and say, “I lived a purposeful life without fear”.

“The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.” – John C Maxwell

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