Being Judged

16th November 2019

In my profession, I have met numerous dogs of different breeds. If I speak to their owners, especially for those who had researched deeply into the breed either before or after caring for their dogs, I found something very interesting. Invariably, they (not all!) seem to say there are specific traits unique to that breed. What is interesting is those traits can be quite similar to each breed. For example, a Dalmatian owner may say that their dog can be ‘mental’ which is very similar to what a Chocolate Labrador owner will say.

However, I have seen calm examples of both breeds. I have stopped making assumptions about dog breeds. I take each dog as they are. They are each unique in their character and temperament. They are all beautiful in their own right.

Extending this observation, let’s discuss about you, the pet owner. Do you feel that you are judged at the vets? There may be clichés like ‘rich’ people if you drive up in a new BMW or a Land Rover, poor people if you live in council estates, ‘dog’ people if you are a trainer or a behaviourist, ‘breeders’ if you breed from your pet and many various types.

After practising for 15 years, I have learnt that clichés and people are not always what they seem. I have seen ‘rich’ people incurring bad debts and seemingly poor people pulling out cash to pay their bills. I have seen breeders being both ethical and unethical in their dealings. I have seen people with ‘dog’ experience showing excellent understanding of their pet and pet ownership and also those with a warped sense of what pet ownership is. I have learnt that it is important to understand the background of each individual for it helps to set the stage to build on but view each one as a unique individual as it is truly what they are.

I have found out that to be likable (important for a vet for it does help in building trust and ultimately, improve the clinical outcome), we have to like others for who they are. No assumptions, no clichés, no biasness. Only then we can truly treat each one as a dear and valued friend to enable the best possible working relationship.

Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves and they may not be who they seem. We have a client who always looks as though she is going to hit us on the head but she remains to be one of our best clients who truly appreciates us and is wholly supportive. On the other hand, we have clients that seemingly open up to us showing warmth and then leave without a warning. Go figure!

I believe those who judge others are secretly in fear of being judged by others. It usually comes with low self-esteem. By practising not to judge (like any skill, practising helps!), we can actually build our self-esteem in fearing less of being judged by others and become a better version of ourselves.  I also believe it is truly miraculous when we start looking at others like a child, no presumptions, no expectations held and just enjoy discovering each other for who they are. It really brings back the kindred human spirit and sense of wonder that is sometimes lacking in this world.

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