Co-operation, not isolation

14th September 2019

Dr Lennon’s Sunday Musings

In prehistoric times, cavemen would huddle together for warmth, hunting and general living. They knew that strength lies in numbers. Together, they are able to increase the level of success and survivability. They are more likely to be able to hunt effectively, keep warmer by building a fire together, expand their family and literally, live longer by being in a group. In fact, the worst thing that can happen to someone is to be banished from his or her clan. The likelihood of that individual surviving is very low.

In the modern society, it is no different. However, there are many who choose to live in isolation. It does not mean that we live alone without anyone else in our lives at all.

In UK, a phrase that I have learnt is “Alright?” as a form of greeting. You hear it everywhere. Invariably, the answer is (99% of the time), “Fine”, “Good” or “Alright” without really meaning it. It is almost like an automatic response. Personally, I feel this is a horrible question. It is almost like we are being lazy and not caring when we ask that for we already know the answer and we are just ‘being polite’ and ‘normal’.

I am referring to ‘emotional isolation’. It means that we choose not to share our emotions with others. Sometimes, we pretend to be happy and that nothing is wrong but we are crying inside. Other times, we actually isolate ourselves from others and passively (or actively) avoiding our friends and family.

There can be many reasons why this happens. It may be that we were taught to be resilient and have to ‘deal with problems ourselves’. Perhaps, we perceive we are being ‘considerate’ by not troubling others with our problems. Maybe we think that others will not care. Or we feel we do not deserve to have our emotions shared. I believe the most destructive is when we think we deserve to be sad and miserable and happiness is not meant for us. Usually, there is a degree of low self-esteem.

It is of paramount importance for personal growth to be able to express your emotions. When we are happy, we love to share it. It is incredibly hard to hide your happiness and ecstasy. Can you think of an occasion when you felt amazing and tried to hide it? It does not really work! People see it instantly or if you are indeed good at hiding, you will feel so uncomfortable inside! Likewise, when you feel miserable inside and you are not able to share it, it is tough. It is so tough. Your face shows hidden pain. Your heart crumbles inside and your soul is longing for a warm hug.

We need to be able to share our emotions. Many pet owners will understand this and they know they have an outlet for their feelings. They talk to their pets! Pets are wonderful companions in so many ways. Not only do they fulfil us physically and mentally, they also fulfil us emotionally. I still remember talking to my dogs for hours about my feelings. Long conversations took place after I was dumped, when I passed my exam, when I got into Vet College and so many other life experiences. I am sure pet owners will be nodding their heads in agreement.

I believe it is important not to be in isolation. In the current day and age of technology, where texting is replacing conversations, Instagram is replacing meetings, the need for effective communication and sharing true emotions are even more crucial.

That is why I love my job as I believe that my job is not merely treating the medical diseases of your pets but maintaining, embracing, celebrating and returning the special unique bond between your pet and you. I love working and understanding with you and in doing so, sharing a bit of me as well such that our relationship extends further than just transactional.

Let us strive to reach out to at least one person in our lives daily and truly ask with sincerity with the want to find out, “How are you today?” and actually genuinely listen with care because we are capable of so much better.

“No man is an island.” – John Donne

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