Self Pity

28th July 2019

Dr Lennon’s Sunday Musings

I remember a dog I have treated in another practice. She was a beautiful lively 4 year old cream coloured Labrador. Let’s call her Maisy. One day, Maisy went lame on her front right leg. She was hopping on three legs when I saw her and the owner said it has only been 3 days. I could tell that she was in quite a bit of discomfort, whimpering a bit when she accidentally weight bears on her lame leg. Pain relief was prescribed then and she was kept in relative comfort despite not using the affected leg. Further investigations confirmed a bone tumour in her right humerus. Thankfully, we could not find any evidence of spread to the rest of her. A decision to amputate her right leg is made.

The surgery was uneventful and she recovered well from the operation. She was amazingly pain-free without pain relief only after 1 week from the surgery. The owner was extremely concerned whether Maisy will feel sorry for herself losing her limb and only having 3 legs left. Considering she had not been explained that we were just about to remove her leg, her owner’s concerns will understandable. They were unfounded as Maisy improved from strength to strength, was soon running and able to do everything she used to do before the lameness occurred. If you were not told, you may not even realise she has 3 legs!

I always marvelled at the way animals recover or cope with their lives. I have seen cats with one eye, birds with no toes and dogs with healed injuries bounce back. They do not seem to show any self-pity. They just seem to get on with the similar sort of enthusiasm as before.

I have not been that strong always. There have been moments in the past where I found myself in situations where I ended up feeling sorry for myself. I felt like I needed and deserved a break from the universe. I just wanted to take a break from life and crawl into a little hole and hide. I then realised that while I was doing that, the world goes on. The world does not stop. Time does not pause. What time was used in self-pity is forever lost. Some people spend days feeling sorry for themselves, others take weeks. Some take a few minutes and there are some who spend their entire lives feeling sorry for themselves.

From my personal experience which has shaped my opinion, it is a complete waste of time. Self-pity does not help the situation in any way at all. It does not bring any positive value to the problem or the situation. Having self-pity only serves to make us feel like we are victims. There is much to learn from animals where they do not feel sorry for themselves and just accept it and continue with life the best they can. They do not spend time wondering, “Poor me…” or “Why me?” They just crack on the best way they can.

Let’s strive not to be the victim, not to feel sorry for ourselves and not do self-pity. Life is too short and time we have is luck. We are much stronger than we think. More importantly, our life is ours and one should take extreme responsibility to live an unreasonable good life. People have said that “We only live once”. I feel it should be corrected to “We only die once. We live all the time”. Let’s make sure we live with intent.

I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself. A small bird would drop frozen dead from a bough without ever feeling sorry for itself. – D.H. Lawrence

Back to Blog