Me Inc8th January 2022
The cat stood on the wall looking down at the mayhem caused by the dogs. They were playing, barking and prancing with each other in the park. Still, the cat observed, hardly moving a twitch. The light wind ruffled her hair and her gaze remained penetrating, non-plussed. One dog spotted her and ran across joyously, “Something to chase and have fun with!” He started to bark and jump up and down the wall trying to reach her. The cat merely slowly shifted her glance away and slowly stood up and walked another 20 yards along the wall where the dog could not follow as it was filled with brambles. When she could not hear the dog barking anymore, she sat down and stared into the willow tree in front of her. There was silence in her mind as she sat still in her solitude. She did not like it, she relished it.
What does your life look like? What does your day look like? What are you doing right before you were reading this? What are you going to do after reading this? It is likely you were and/or will be engaged with some activity. It may be with someone or with something. When was the last time when you spent time with yourself, consciously? (Spending time on your mobile does not count!) In the busy world of social media, news that shouts to (and shocks) you and everyone trying to get your attention, when was the last time you actively search, preserve and protect time solely for you, for Me Inc?
For some, it may not be as easy as you think. Even when given the opportunity for themselves, they may not take it. Sometimes, it is harder facing yourself than spending time with someone else. It is hard when you are not able to rein in your fears, insecurities and pain which accentuates the most when you are on your own. They may fill up their life with activities, to be around people and lean on the world to get involved so they need not face themselves. In the still of the night, they may be either exhausted as all was spent on others and the world or they may need medication to help them sleep. Their mind may be racing but running nowhere. This pattern may last for a period of time.
However, that is a race that will eventually outrun you. You can run but there is nowhere to go as where you go, there you are. How do you run from yourself? At some point, you will have to face yourself. It is similar for those who do not spend time with themselves as they are consumed by life intentionally (or unintentionally). When you do spend time, say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts with yourself, how comfortable are you doing so?
Many successful people whether in sports, finance and/or relationships understand the need for Me Inc. In doing so, they often realign with themselves, revisit their values, strengthen their muscle (mentally or physically) and by doing so, feed their soul. No matter how difficult the situation, especially in motherhood, the importance of revelling in the solitude, silence and stillness of Me Inc cannot be underestimated. It is when you feel there is no time and you are stretched beyond what your mind and body can take is when you probably most need the time to yourself.
If you are an artist of sorts, whether in drawing, music, dancing or working on your craft, you are likely to relate to the importance of investing time in Me Inc. You will acknowledge that by doing so, you will receive great rewards in your artistry regardless the field (include parenting and building a business in that too!). You need the sacredness of your solitude, stillness and silence to access your sovereign soul. All the answers you seek, all the peace you require and all the affirmation/inspiration you need can be found in you. The delicate but true voice can be easily drowned out by the noise and clutter of the world. Socrates said that ‘Learning is Remembering’. It is hard to remember when you are constantly distracted by others and the world.
Did you know that in 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article summarizing the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day? How many thoughts, from the thousands and thousands are thoughts that you have deliberately made, without influence from the outside world? How many of those thoughts were specifically stimulated by yourself, for yourself? Or are your thoughts fully instigated and led by your external environment?
In the same research, they found that of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. Left to our own devices, we can see that one of the tendencies of the mind is to focus on the negative and ‘play the same songs’ over and over again. It is not really thinking but replaying the images and memories that our mind has chosen to keep. That is not really a bad thing as long as it empowers and does not disempower you.
Perhaps you are thinking, “All this is well, but what do I actually do with the time (if I had it) with myself?” You may be amazed that many may actually not know what to do with themselves. Have you heard people say, “Now, I have all this time, I don’t know what to do with myself!” It is not uncommon if they are not used to it. Just like any muscle, it can and has to be trained. Here are a few suggestions…
- Understand, acknowledge and accept that you need time for yourself like you need oxygen. It is not a ‘good-to-have’, it is a MUST-HAVE. Change your ‘I know, I know. I should make time for myself to ‘I MUST have time for myself, that is a non-compromise’. And take action. Actively carve out time. There will never come a time when the universe gives you a break and simply award you with time. It does not work that way. If you can ideally carve out an hour a day, great. If not, take 15 minutes two to three times a day, when you wake, at lunchtime and before you sleep. It’s a start.
- A simple and great way to start off Me Inc is to practice your gratitude. Simply be grateful for your life, your time, and your beating heart. Spend as much time as you like with this. Over time, you will find that it sets your mind and heart in an extremely positive way, clearing the clouds in your head and brain fog.
- Start to challenge your mind, ask it the questions that are bothering you. Please be mindful that your mind is an extremely powerful computer that will answer ANY and all questions you ask. So please refrain from asking questions like, “Why am I fat?”, “What is my life is sad?” or “Why am I single?” because I promise you, your mind will find you an answer! Remember that smart people have great answers and wise people have great questions.
There is a vast difference between being in solitude and loneliness. Loneliness is the poverty of self whereas solitude is the richness of self. When someone asks you what are you up to, I challenge you to answer with gusto, “I will be extremely busy… spending time with myself!” Be sure to utilise Me Inc to your fullest advantage. The cat understands the power of her solitude. Are you comfortable building a great relationship with the only person you are guaranteed to be with for the rest of your life?
‘How can you hear your soul when everyone is talking?’ – Mary Doria RussellBack to Blog